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Letter From Yaounde To Buea 

Dear Mbella, I barely had time to scribble this note. We were all overwhelmed by the Silver Jubilee of our great national party. We remember vividly, the first screams of the "C" baby two and a half decades ago in Abakwa. Some argue that there was never the birth of any new soapbox mafia that day when Grand Camarade, in a show of infatuation, declared that he loved upcountry more than his Marie Antoinette.

It was an interesting metamorphosis a la Camerounaise. The "C" of Baba Toure played the chameleon and changed its colour to be the "C" of Pablo Bartholomew. At best, it simply exfoliated and assumed the status of a new outfit like a snake. You know I like giving you the finest memory lane details.

But it would be real farce to pretend to feed on past glories. The reality is that we were reduced to having only as much as a cash-strapped anniversary this year. Our brothers who used to bankroll such occasions were sacrificed for doing the G11 macabre. Mbella, let me use this opportunity to make it clear to you that in our "C" republique, the embezzlement of public funds is not an offence at all. You can go the whole hog and line your pockets with l’argent des contribuable if you look away from skeleton-infested cupboards of the big man.

It is treason just to imagine that Le President va mourir un jour. It is safer to sing encomiums and say it with all the relish that Le President est un etre immortel. In the circumstances, there is absolutely no elasticity of morals here because the "C" world is completely a different one. But this is no blank cheque for blood thirsty-criminals to pretend to be more royalist than the king as if they have constituted themselves into a kind of English Cavalier parliament.

Don’t stamp any diplomatic stain on the image of Grand Camarade by…to do what he likes most. That is why on à laché le criminel royale. You can’t also doubt the fact that nemesis is catching up the bloodsucker. The truth is that Fago will remain half-asleep in his grave until justice is done. I think there will be some divine intervention to make sure that justice is not hawked to the criminals at the expense of the righteous victims.

Thank God, the callous hoodlums on mission tried unsuccessfully to quench Simon Peter. He has continued to carry the aspirations and hopes of the have-nots and the voiceless. I am not being led into the temptation of blasphemy, but what I know is that no earthly dog can pay the human rights crusader’s transport to the shed below.

I take great exception to militants who have continued to stain the image of the great party abroad, claiming to be victims of the post-rigging palapala. There is a price for everything and that is the price they paid for being part of the great national party. By the way, is it not Pa Ndole who wondered why rational beings would organise for the burning of their own houses and expect the ngumba to compensate them? Instead of rumour-mongering with the SCNC, find out who is stealing our fish. Also find out why a code of legality has been used in veiling those illegal activities of the men of "Gulliver’s Travels" from the country of Lilliputians?

Each time I am writing to you, I am sick, because you are a celebrated cynic that doubts everything. The coup de Coeur we sent to the Lions in 1994 is still airborne. So why would you want the Haiti earthquake victims to receive so soon, the FCFA 500 million that we sent to them only on February 8? Mbella, you people exaggerate everything. Like the frogs say "quittez derriere les problemes."
My regards to Enangs and the kids.

Yours Ngwa

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