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Letter From Yaounde To Buea 

Dear Mbella, I really admire the negative twist you give to every event that happens in this country. I also savour the fact that you do it with the dogged tenacity of a professional doomsayer. It doesn’t really matter who flouted the instructions of the Etoudi Grand Camarade by choosing the wrong logo for our independence birthday. The truth is that the racket has been uncovered. It will not take time for heads to roll in that matter.

Mola, I strongly believe that one day, the sun will be rising from the west and setting in the east. Otherwise, how would you explain the fact that the Ongolo family is in shambles. Is its not sheer blasphemy for mother of six to be accusing someone who took the vows of chastity, poverty and self abnegation of putting her in the family way? If it is true, how did the man in immaculate garments climb on her before slotting in the weapon of mass destruction into the engine?

This is a clear proof that our moral gold in rotting because we no longer know who has the right to mount the pulpit and say what to who. It was also moral bankruptcy that pushed our compatriots in Uncle Sam’s obnoxious paradise to jeer the Etoudi errand boys. The juxtaposition here is that, that tenant of the moon building has a query to answer. Why did he not receive the pen boys? Just imagine Mbella.

There are certain things in this country Mbella that are difficult to be reconciled with any kind of reason. We all know that the enigmatic Sawa boy is the one who set the nation ablaze by murdering sleep. But while every other person is trying to douse the ravaging flames, he is indifferent. The man has farted, thereby messing up the aroma of the game in which Etoudi will re-elect himself in 2011. The man, who behaves like a dumb in contempt of the media, has virtually burnt his fingers. The penner he escorted to his ancestors hailed from the chosen region, Le Sud.

His act which was merely meant to cover up his stinking and skeleton-infested cupboards is interpreted to mean that he virtually emptied his bowels in the big man’s backyard. The arrogant political oaf has put the entire Ngumba in camps because the South elite cannot be indifferent to the murdering of their son and brother. It is interesting that in the show of a seasoned mouthpiece, the gainako sticks out his neck to be cut.

In his overzealous outing, he sought to profess more Catholicism than the Pope, but ended up putting himself on the national pedestal of scorn and ridicule. Our President is imbued with meekness and the milk of humanity. He will not be happy that sycophants were insulting somebody they helped to die in a cage. Mbella, I am too angry that mere appointees are not making things easy for our popularly elected President.

Accept my greetings, Ngwa.

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