Wednesday, November 21, 2018
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Living La Vida Single 

By Carine Bongadu

I don’t which is worse – to be in a relationship and have your partner cheat on you or to be single and exposed to all the weirdos out there. You know, chronic bachelors looking for fun, desperate singles looking for relationships at any cost, married men or women seeking to reaffirm their attractiveness.

If you have been reading this column, you would know that I have recently been ejected from the realm of the happily coupled and I now swim in the sea of singles. Which is why I recently went out on a date with this banker- guy. Let’s call him James. James is handsome, without doubt, young and ambitious. He is also the kind of guy who is in touch with the trends.

He is funny and smart, just the kind of guy I would be attracted to. I met him some months ago while doing some business and he kind of struck a chord. For several reasons, however, we never got to explore the connection. Some weeks back, I met James again and just like the first time, I thought he was worth looking into. This time, however, most of the obstacles that had prevented things from vanishing the first time had vanished and I found myself on a date with him on a Friday night.

The date was wonderful. He showed me he had class by taking me to a classic and expensive restaurant in town. He laughed at all my jokes, told me I was beautiful, smart and confident in the smoothest way you can imagine (and don’t we love compliments). Yes, I had fun and I was reminded of how good it felt to be courted.

During our time together, I also found out that we had a mutual friend, Kitty. Being the perfect gentleman, James walked me home from the date and did not even try to break certain bounds. Very smooth. The evening could not have been any better, I thought. I was wrong. He sent me a text some minutes later, saying nothing more but goodnight. Did I mention he was smooth?

Throughout the weekend, James either called or sent a text message. I was beginning to think I had found the perfect guy. This was a guy of 30, unattached and doing well for himself. So, here am I all happy and bubbly, as I talk to our mutual friend Kitty about the exciting date I had with James. Kitty laughs and says "yeah, I know James very well. He is a very nice guy, cute and married with three kids". Oops! Here goes happy and bubbly. "Are you sure?" I ask Kitty. "Oh yes", she replies. "He married in my church last year and his last kid was also dedicated there. "

Wow! Unbelievable, right? Or, maybe not unbelievable but just strange, right? It’s been about a week now and James has remained very persistent in his advances towards me. I have been wondering why a guy would do that, you know, be married with kids but pretends to be single. Some say it’s because he needs to know that he is still attractive and can still pull a crowd of females. Excuse my language, but to that I say bulls*#t.

Now, this is the worst kind of player you can find out there, the dishonest fellow who would promise heaven and earth to a girl just to visit her ‘Jerusalem’. And while I would say girls need to be smart enough to smell the bulls*#t, some of them just don’t know any better. Hence, there is no excuse for a guy to prey on the young and innocent in this fashion. I think I will enjoy James’ attention just a little while longer, and then I will let him know that I am on to him, having loads of fun while I do it.

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