Wednesday, November 21, 2018
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Modern Love: How Not To Choose The Wrong Guy 

By Carine Bongadu

I saw this article on the internet and I found it to be very interesting. The author Silvie Ramey claims to be a relationship counselor.  I don’t know if I believe that she is a relationship counselor (we all know that anybody can paste anything on the internet and claim to be somebody they are not) given that the site I got the article from is not a trusted site.

However, after reading the article, I thought that it made a lot of sense (if you read the last edition of Modern Love, you will know that I broke up with my boyfriend recently) so I am going to share it with you. "Some women in the dating scene meet men that are not really interested in pursuing a serious relationship.

True, people who date don’t have to go after a serious relationship, and as long as the other person knows, it’s OK. But many women would generally agree that this type of man is mostly selfish and narcissistic. Women are not high on his list to show respect, and committing himself to one woman for a long period of time is very difficult, if not impossible to do. If he could lie and cheat to get out of an uncomfortable situation, he would.

"This type of person is charming and exudes a lot of personality. He chooses the right things to say to you with ease, because he knows what you want to hear. This guy is a risk taker which is often a very magnetic quality to people, as most people have a tendency to be cautious. This makes them (cautious men) seem boring and predictable, not attractive qualities for some women.

"Many women think that they can change a person, including a man who is lacking in loyalty or personality. Actually, the truth is he won’t change unless he wants to change. Keep that in mind when you fall in love with such a person. "After many women fall for a guy like this, they put forth a great deal of effort into a relationship that is doomed from the start. After a while, they will realize that the guy is not making the relationship with his lady a priority in his life. He will want to be with her on his terms on only.

"Most intense infatuations will start with engaging passion so that some women will get addicted and crave his company constantly. When the guy is not spending time with you as a couple, you may try to contact him constantly as he is only available on his terms. Even if you have a passionate relationship, it does not mean he is thinking of you all the time. The fact that he is not always accessible hurts and confuses you.

"The first way to stop this behaviour is to realise what you are looking for in this man, so take some time off the relationship. If you are suffering emotionally, it is the best thing you can do for yourself. If you do not feel happy or content in this connection with the man you believe that you love, then this relationship is not good for you.

"Think about why you are drawn to this man and what qualities or attributes does he have that do not appeal to you? Do the negative feelings outweigh the good? You have to identify what qualities you want in your ideal man and stick to your requirements. Don’t accept anyone that you meet as your supposedly prospective future mate.

"What is a positive relationship with the right guy with you? Most women will definitely be able to tell the difference between the healthy guy and the guy who is bad for her emotional health. The positive guy is caring, positive, devoted, committed, communicative, and comprising. He loves to prove to you his loving commitment by spending time with you and has no problem with this."

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