Monday, June 17, 2019
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Modern Love: Love, Lunacy – It’s The Same Thing 

By Carine Bongadu

Logically speaking, love is insanity, madness, lunacy. You do not believe me, do you? Do not worry, I will prove it. My friend, Julia, is unbelievable. Back in the day when we were university students, Julia had four boyfriends at the same time. There was Peter. Peter was the father of her baby and probably the guy she loved more than the other three.

Musa was some kind of an on-and-off boyfriend, Ludovic showered her with gifts and, Rogers… Rogers was her ‘mini-cite’ boyfriend. I can read your mind now. I know you are thinking that Julia was not so strange and that many university girls have a lot more than four boyfriends. While your assessment may be correct, the peculiarity with Julia’s case was all four boyfriends knew about each other and for some baffling, unexplained reason, they were still crazy about her.

Occasionally, two of the guys would meet in Julia’s room and, far from panicking, Julia would simply choose the person she wanted to be her boyfriend for the day and shower him with affection, while the other guy would sit in the corner, scorned and outright ignored until he decided he had seen enough. He would later call Julia and, after a heated argument, the scorned and yet hopelessly in love guy would end up apologising to Julia!  I told you, Julia is unbelievable. If this is not madness, what is?

Logically speaking, love is synonymous with insanity. When you love someone, you are prepared to do the craziest things for this person. I had this boyfriend who was all macho and quite a male chauvinist. But I am quite sure that he was in love with me because one Saturday morning, he did all my laundry and even scrubbed my kitchen walls! He might have been worth keeping but I couldn’t get past the fact that he believed in gender roles – like he would never step foot in a kitchen, chop onions or boil water if he had a wife at home and he would never eat food in his house that was not cooked by his wife.

On top of all that, he thought that the best way to turn a boy into a man would be to circumcise him at the age of five, instead of at birth. Logically speaking, love is lunacy. Biologically, a normal, sane human being is selfish. Your brain is wired to send signals to the rest of your body to make you run away from danger, run for food, run for shelter – simply put, your brain is wired so that you can survive and live for another day. That is how a sane man’s brain functions.

What happens when love is factored into the equation? You stop thinking about yourself and your survival. Women start giving up major career and financial opportunities to move with their husbands to remote villages when they are transferred. Men start to put their jobs in jeopardy by embezzling funds to please demanding wives. Boys and girls steal huge sums of money from their parents to send their partners abroad. Men go on their knees in public to apologize to women they just caught cheating on them. We all know the crazy things we do in the name of love.

When love enters the picture, the brain begins to malfunction and people start to make the most irrational decisions that are contrary to self preservation. When love enters the picture, you are willing to die to save someone else’s life and that is called suicide. Suicidal people are always mentally ill.

There are various levels of madness and not all of them necessitate that the sufferer be locked away in an asylum. If you are in love, you are insane but not insane enough to be sent to an institution for the mentally ill. Do not get frightened for you are not alone. If this is any consolation, probably everyone in this world has experienced this level of madness.

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