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Modern Love: The Things Women Do For Men 

By Carine Bongadu

Last week, Modern Love was about the lengths to which men are willing to go for the women they love or want to have. When my editor read the article he said women also do pretty strange things for the men they love and asked me to do this article. Because I love to write this column, here is the other side of the coin.

Women do very strange things for the men they want. I was dating this guy, Emma, a few years back. We experienced a rough patch in the relationship because of something he had done wrong. Because I really liked him, I decided to make the first move towards mending fences anyway. So, I packaged a beautiful Christmas present for him. There was a tie, a really good shirt and a belt (Pierre Cardin) in it. I love parceling, so the packaging was painstakingly done. I took this gift to Emma on Christmas Eve; he held me in his arms for a moment and then told me very nonchalantly that he had another girlfriend. Of course, I felt very foolish.

This was totally uncharacteristic of me, bringing him this gift even though he had wronged me. Generally, I do not have a lot of patience and I have a certain level of pride. I most certainly never walk around begging men who have wronged me – well, except for this one time.

I was listening to a friend, Kristy, talk to her man friend quite recently. Kristy is about 35 and very unmarried. For the past one year or so, she had become very religious, probably to the point of being a fanatic. She sang religious songs at work, usually very loudly, until, one day, her boss could bear it no more and asked her to stop. Kristy is literally desperate. So desperate that she virtually begged her man friend to marry her.

Kristy’s man friend is a widower in his late forties. Though he has decided to stay unmarried for the remainder of his days on this earth, that has not stopped him from frolicking with women, one of them being my friend Kristy. His decision to stay single is based on several unpleasant circumstances related to his late wife.

So, that day, while I was listening to, not eavesdropping on, their phone conversation, he was very honestly voicing his decision to stay single. My friend Kristy, very desperate to not be an old maid, said, "You know, people should not dictate how you should live your life. You can still get married, especially if you did not do any of the things people say you did". If a woman utters these words to any man she is dating it literally means, "please marry me. Don’t listen to what people might be saying." This is a very desperate thing to do, something a woman would do only if she really wanted the man in question.

I know a man, as odd as they come. This is one of the strangest fellows I know. He has a fiancé whom he has deliberately refused to give the keys of his house to. This fiancé of his comes to his house almost every day for housekeeping, laundry and cooking. She almost always comes early and because she does not have a key, she will wait outside for him to come home. When he finally gets home, she does the chores, sometimes under pressure, because he is on his way out and will not leave her in his house or give her a key. What can I say? That woman really wants this man!

Oh yes, the things women do for men they desperately want. A woman will slave for a man she really wants – she will wash his clothes, cook for him, clean his house, and beg him for marriage. She will forgive him for sleeping with other women, no matter how many, all the while consoling herself with the thought, "I am his airport, no matter how far he flies, he will always land on me."

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